The Kenyan - Compared With Other Beings

Kenyans are a peculiar species of human beings worth talking bout. There are many things that distinguish Kenyans from any other race on earth. Mind you, there are different races in Kenya but they all have the same characteristics. I will discuss a few of those:

The first thing that makes them different from other people of the world is their pride. Kenyans are so proud, prouder than your people, reader, if you are not a Kenyan. If you ever happened to visit any Kenyan blog, you'll see what I am talking about. Their pride starts with their country all the way down to the basest things. Kenyans love their country and if it wasn't for a bunch of monkeys that find their way to Parliament every election, Kenyans have loyalty, pride, love for that country of theirs. If it wasn't for their politicians, you know their characteristics, Kenyans would live in harmony more than any other people do. Every Kenyan who uses the internet does egosurfing, for himself and for his country. It is not uncommon in Kenya to enter a cybercafe and find about ten or more people with their screens full of something Kenyan. You'll find them with goosebumps because of the amazing facts they are reading about Kenya. Never start an argument concerning comparison of countries with a Kenyan. No matter how far from the facts, he always manages to bring his point about how Kenya is doing good compared to others. They get so irrational at times to compare their country with others that are miles and miles ahead. But that's the Kenyan way.

Another thing is Kenyans are disrespectful. Unlike their humble neighbours the Tanzanians, Kenyans generally are not friendly, are not respectful. If a Kenyan enters his favourite restaurant, he had better be served because of his impatience. You would not wish to be a waiter in a Restaurant in Kenya. You will be abused if you take one second more than the Kenyan thinks you should. In Kampala, Uganda, the waiters there are the most peculiar species of Ugandans you will meet. They take their time and you have to constantly remind them that you need to be served. Due to their good upbringing or something of that nature, they always serve according to the order that you entered that place, and they are good at observing. You will be so unlucky to enter a place of eating and expect that since you are in a hurry she will understand you. She won't. If that happens in Kenya, there will be chaos. All who have not been served will start complaining and hurling insults at once and even advise you to get more waiters. That is the Kenyan. He is always in a hurry, and you can tell where that has led them since independence. That country has no major minerals – no iron, gold diamonds, oil, nothing. But Kenyans are always among the top in terms of innovations and trade in Africa. The Kenyan economy is very strong, for a country with no oil, that relies on agriculture and is hit by droughts almost every year.

Kenyans are a hard-working people. I have lived in Kampala and in Nairobi and to tell the truth, the differences are crystal clear. I know you are supposed to set goals way ahead of you but this is not a goal I’m setting, but a comparison I’m making. The average Kampalan wakes up at nine a.m., goes for katogo which he uses an hour to eat and by the time he is ready to work he is feeling dizzy because of the sun and how much he has eaten. Every Kampalan eats katogo, which, lest I should forget to say, is a mixture of anything edible, but mostly cassava, beans, matoke, and at times eggplant.

A Nairobian, on the other hand, wakes up at five a.m., takes a shower despite the cold of Nairobi, prepares for the job, takes tea and a toast as breakfast (very light), and goes to his job. The next meal is usually taken at lunch. If you are observational, you will have observed that at nine, when the average Kampalan is preparing to go and eat katogo, the average Nairobian is sitting hungry at his place of work; not sitting as in doing nothing, but sitting at his place of work working though hungry. This means that Kenyans are generally a hungry people. You will also have noticed that the Kampalan does not take a shower, or a bath, or whatever he needs to take. The average one stinks, and this is not an insult to the Kampalan but the sun is hotter there and they still do not shower.

Another peculiarity of the Kenyans is how they love to move houses at night. May be it's because of how they steal too – almost every Kenyan you meet may rob you. So they move house at night, all of them, the rich probably to hide from thieves who might follow them up to a thousand miles if they discover something valuable; the poor to may be hide their poverty. The middle class have not managed to bring a change to the Kenyan house moving rules. And many of them move at no specific times, but rather as soon as it gets dark enough to move.

I could write all day about Kenyans. However, the last thing I'll say is how they greet using adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, etc. In other words, they have never mastered the art of greeting. When you meet a Kenyan and he says: OTHERWISE? You had better tell him how you have been because like I said before, they are impatient, rude, and are actually greeting you when they say that.