1. Of Butcheries
Muslim and Christian butcheries exist in
Ethiopia, with a crescent and cross to indicate the same, respectively.
Christian butcheries are mainly pro-Orthodox Church and so non
believers, pagans, and Protestants really must feel left out. Kenyan
Christians are so tolerant: they don't care what you told the cow before
you killed it. Why, they would eat beef from a cow that was slaughtered
by Old Nick himself! As long as the cow is made of meat they will have
it. The reason I say this is because it is a well known fact that in all
the slaughterhouses in Kenya, a Muslim is always available to kill the
cow while uttering "Bismillahi", telling the cow that it is being
slaughtered in the name of Allah, the most magnificent, the most
graceful. If there wasn't one for the same, no Muslim would eat the meat
from Kenyan butcheries. I am so proud of the many million Kenyans who
don't care about the cow's religious affiliation. In Nazareth I had
friends asking me why I visited any butchery and they were offended when
I told them that in Kenya animals don't attend mosques and churches,
hence no need to care. As long as the cow was free of mad cow disease
and made of delicious meat, bring it on. I have always experimented on
the meat. I have brought both my Muslim and Christian friends to my
place at different occasions and without telling them where the meat was
from, they all attested to the fact that the meat was delicious. But
all Ethiopians coexist amicably, despite their different butcheries.
2. Transport System
I
may not have travelled all across Africa but I can comfortably say that
Ethiopia has the best, most organized transport system in Africa. They
even have the best airline carrier in Africa: the Ethiopian Airlines.
This is due to government "interference". The government sets fares for
all distances from the biggest buses to the smallest Bajaj
autorickshaws, leaving no chance for greedy conductors and bus owners,
or the cartels we hear about in Kenya. If it rains in Kenya we all know
fares go up. And not only are they set by the government, but the fares
must be indicated by way of a sign at the front where everybody can see,
with an official stamp. Talk about a responsible government! It might
sound like communism and many people hate it I wonder why - but, hey,
it's for the good of the public. Even basic goods like sugar and
cooking oil have their prices controlled by the government. This makes
sure that all Ethiopians have access to them. I'm sure if the Kenyan
government came up with such an idea, political temperatures would
flare. Kenyan politicians are just politicians. Few seem to care about
the welfare of the citizens. On that note, I would like to tell you that
my salary is higher than the Ethiopian Prime Minister's, by about 2000
Ethiopian Birr! Politicians here are about as honest as any can get.
About
transport, the government owns a fleet of buses that charge as little
as Br 1 (1 Birr) in the cities. Do you know how much that is in Kenya?
Ksh 4-5! If this isn't amazing then nothing else would amaze me. They
remind me of the city stagecoaches but we failed to keep them. These are
called Anbassa Buses in Addis Ababa, and are red and yellow, and some
are two combined like two train cars, and are all assembled locally.
Anbassa is Amharic for lion. In Kenya the minimum you would pay must be
Ksh 20, or around Br 4. These days bus and Matatu conductors in Kenya do
not recognise 5 bob as legal tender, no matter how short the distance
you have travelled. You might hear one say: Hiyo patia mtoi anunue pipi
(Give that to a kid to buy sweets). It wouldn't be so in Ethiopia if it
wasn't for the government regulating, and not only that but also
monitoring continuously. In Kenya they decide to implement things but
then they don't monitor progress and before you know it, everything
goes back to "normal". First time I came to Ethiopia I would just take
the autorickshaws and travel from one Kebele (village) to another. It
was so cheap I just had to do so.
To show how serious the
government here is, roads are paved and new ones constructed, year after
year. If you ever take the road from Nairobi to Addis, like we
passionately call the capital, you would see the difference. The last
time I travelled we left the Tarmac near Isiolo. From there to Moyale,
there was something that looked like a road, with curious small
mountains and craters in it, and the driver cared nought for that. We
danced the whole way, and got painted in dust such that when we arrived
in Moyale, we looked like one large family, of lunatics! At Turbi -
which is so named after the seven hills around it (Turbi means 7 in the
local language) - your vehicle must be stuck on the mud about 3 hours
during the rainy season. And if not, there must be something wrong with
your vehicle. As soon as you cross the border, you make the acquaintance
of Tarmac and you converse all the way to Addis, except small portions
that are being resurfaced.
When the Kenyan government is giving
and canceling contracts amid charges of corruption in the tendering
process, Ethiopia gives contracts and projects are started immediately.
The railway in Ethiopia is almost complete, what we call standard gauge.
In Addis parts of the railway are elevated, and some underground.
Buildings have been brought down for the same. We know what happens in
Kenya when a building has been bulldozed - drama - and these have been
brought down in the very heart of Addis! When we were still dreaming of
the Thika Superhighway, Ethiopia had completed hers and it was no longer
a novelty to the locals. Ethiopia has recently just completed a toll
road - the Addis-Nazareth expressway - a great highway that charges
motorists, from Nazareth to Addis. Do we have a toll road in our beloved
Kenya? Nope. Ethiopia is truly amazing. Maybe we should follow
Ethiopia's footsteps to develop, Kenya.
3. Location of Ethiopia
Kids
and adults alike innocently tell me that I don't look like an African
but that I look more like an Ethiopian. This inspired me to write a
poem, Nappy Head. You might have noticed that I seem to mean that
Ethiopia is not in Africa but this is what they think. The kids
innocently ask me, "You say you don't speak Amharic. But you look like
an Ethiopian. If you are not Ethiopian, what are you? African?" I think
Social Studies teachers here are sleeping on their job. They aren't
working hard enough to tell these kids that Ethiopia is in the heart,
not exactly but on the dexter shoulder of Africa! I am not usually
amazed when I go to some place and they whisper that I am African and
some even have the audacity to call me "Africa" and all the countries
they know in Africa. Sometimes I'm "Nigeria" all the way to "Uganda"! I
just smile at their blissful ignorance and also because I love Africa.
But with a Rasta hat and speaking English, I sometimes become "Jamaica"!
They tend to associate the word Africa to Sudan, if you know the Arabic
literal meaning. I was dazed when one guy strongly declared that my
parents must have emigrated from here and he parted with him calling me a
liar.
Kimani wa Mumbi travels Africa whenever possible
