Ethiopia has many wonderful things and also wonderful places to visit. I
lived in a place called Nazareth, like the Biblical home where Jesus
lived as a boy, and I really had good times there.
It is a known fact that Ethiopia has the highest population of cattle in Africa, and the 10th in the world. What people don't seem to know is that it has the highest population of beautiful girls per square kilometre in the world, as compared to India and the Philippines. You can even throw in South Korea if you like. I am still confused on which should make me the happiest, " for better, for worse; till death do us part..." Another fact that has never been observed is that Ethiopia has the highest population of DOGS in the world, when you put her size into consideration. I have seen more dogs in one street on a normal day (yes, it wasn't a canid holiday) than all the dogs in the Rift Valley Counties of Kenya. Below are some amazing facts:
1. The Dogs of Nazareth
Nazareth is a city about 100km from the capital, as you head towards Shashamane and to Kenya. It's a beautiful city, almost entirely surrounded by hills, and is low-lying and therefore hot, being on the Rift Valley floor. It has wide beautiful streets, some entirely cobblestoned reminding you of the ancient civilizations. The first time I saw cobblestones I immediately consulted Google Maps for my location. And it has traffic lights too, but these don't usually work unless the city is about to host a major event. Too bad because it is a busy city, being on the road to Djibouti, whose port is also used by Ethiopia.
To the main point now. The dogs. If ever a city had so many dogs, and those particular dogs be homeless, and fat, and healthy, and of all breeds in the world, Nazareth is that city. There isn't a breed I haven't seen in Nazareth except the bulldog. And most of these dogs have no owners meaning they rule the city streets. They sleep right in the middle and wouldn't move even if the Prime Minister was passing. You will see beautiful homeless poodles that might tempt you to break a commandment: the one about stealing! The dogs are so healthy and have a constant supply of meat. Of meat?! You must be wondering. Like I said in the opening paragraphs, Ethiopia has a lot of cattle, but these have owners. The local Ethiopian population therefore does not eat meat from the head, the lower leg, I think it's called the shin, and the innards. The only innards they eat are the liver and the stomach. The stomach is not even considered edible to some. All that they don't eat, consequently, ends up in dumps and there the city dogs reign. It amazed me when I first arrived there and saw a dog hauling a full head of a cow - it might have been a bull - together with its tongue and skin! I thought it had commandeered it. In Kenya the only part of the cow I don't remember eating was the gallbladder, the lung, and the bone, and the bone must be broken so as not to miss the elusive marrow. After breaking, the bone is boiled for so long a dog can't tell if meat ever clung on it. It must smell like it's a century old to a dog. The reason for boiling is not to make glue but to make what Kenyans call "soup, supu, thufu, and surwa" in English, Swahili, Kikuyu and Sheng respectively. Personally I have eaten eyes, brains, the nose, and even the skin on its head. Kenyans have a great recipe for a cow head, and not only cows but also goats, sheep, chickens, name it. The intestines are then washed and stuffed with a mixture of peppered meat, liver, and blood to make Kenyas indigenous sausage called "mutura" or "African sausage" or "Dubai sausage". The latter is derived from the fact that Kenya imports second hand cars from Dubai and the "sausage" is not so "sausagy" by having blood and pepper in it. O! The blood! Kenyans don't shed the blood of an innocent beefer in vein! We either mix it with fresh milk and honey and drink it like a Maasai Moran, or cook it in the sausages! Dogs in Kenya are the reason they coined the phrase "a dog's life". They really get a hard time.
That explains the health of these dogs of Nazareth. But in the subarbs of the city, dogs have no peace at all. Boys and even grown men comfortably bend over, pick up a stone, and hurl it towards an innocent dog that is minding it's own canine business! It appears Nazarenes have an inherent inclination towards molesting homeless dogs or mbwa koko in Swahili. And there's not a single pound that would hold them, and there's still not one in the country. The only reason Nazarenes don't hurl objects at dogs in the city is simply because there are no rocks to throw, and also so many people. But even though these dogs be harmless, they are most annoying from 2.00 to 3.00 in the morning. It appears they usually meet an hour before 2.00 to decide on what noises they should make that particular night. They continually wail, howl, bark, growl, whimper, cry constantly for that one hour, apparently for no reason. But dog and ghost experts generally agree that that time of night is when ghosts roam about our land and because dogs see ghosts, they try to have conversations with them!
2. The Gurage Dance
I must say that Ethiopian dances are beautiful. There is not a thing I would love more on a weekend than to watch an Ethiopian girl dance "Skista". It magnifies their already present beauty to colossal heights. Skista isn't "obscene"like many other African dances which involve shaking your hindquarters like you have a mind to shake them off. On the contrary, rather, Skista involves movement of the torso and the head with hands akimbo. Mostly it involves shaking your shoulders in a suggestive way and moving your head this way and that. O! How very beautiful! This dance is native to the Amhara people.
But what I want to talk about is the dance of the Gurage people. I don't know if it has a specific name but boy oh boy! It rocks! If you don't have a bicycle, and if you keep wondering which method is best for exercise, just take Gurage dance lessons. You will get into shape in your first lesson! It is so complex and also so beautiful and involves violent movements that I always wonder how they don't sweat after the dance. I always sweat as soon as I start thinking of the dance itself. Rhumba's "violence" is nothing compared to this. I wouldn't give a perfect description if I wanted and what would help anyone understand it better is looking for a video on YouTube. You move your hands back and forth as you make a slight jump accompanied by a little bowing, back and forth and so on. Your feet also move back and forth but not in tune with the rest of yourself. Occasionally you jump a little higher than you did all through the dance. This jump is probably meant to punctuate the dance, or indicate a different style coming. In general, it looks like you have a mind to run but your body is stuck in a singular spot. The Rastas who live here cannot endure that dance, partly because they own the laziest dance on earth that only involves pointing your index finger to the sky and very slight - almost unnoticeable - movement of the upper torso and the head, and also partly because their herb tends to make a body lazier and slower.
3. The: Local Booze
Apart from contemporary booze, Ethiopia also has three major local boozes viz. Tej, Araqe, and Tala. Many Kenyans would not pronounce the words right, leave alone leave the drinks after trying. There are letters in Amharic that don't exist in the Latin alphabet such that the Ts in Tej and Tala are very explosive and the Q in Araqe seems to come from down the larynx. I have tried all three even though I'm a teetotaler. But what amazes me is the honesty of Ethiopian local brewers. Every day I look at Kenyan papers I see dead people who drunk their moonshine that was laced with methanol and so on. In Ethiopia alcohol kills too, but it takes a long long time to completely destroy your liver, depending on your definition for long. And they have Tej Bet, Araqe Bet, and Tala Bet. Bet is Amharic for "house" or "place". Some of these "Betoch", for that is the plural, are even licensed and the price indicated on a notice on the wall complete with a stamp that that is the price approved by the local government.
I will start with Tej since it was the drink of the Imperial Family. It was a royal drink when great Abyssinia stood. It passed through the lips of many royals. Jomo "the Burning Spear" Kenyatta drank it every time he visited his close friend, Emperor Selassie. It is definitely one of the drinks that Queen Sheba took to Solomon as "gifts".
"Yellow", so aptly surnamed, is a sweet yellowish wine made from honey. It is served from "glasses" that remind me of chemistry - you know the one with a round body and a thin neck, I forgot its name. It is never served from a bottle or a cup. This is the standard serving. You hold the neck between the middle and the index finger. Never between any other fingers. This is the standard and accepted and revised way of holding. Being a wine, obviously they ferment yellowish honey and make it. It is sweet. It would be fair to compare it with Kenya's Muratina. Alcoholic content may be around 7%.
Araqe is the mother of all three if you are talking about alcohol levels. This is the chang'aa equivalent. Many people believe you should only take it after eating raw meat, yes Ethiopians eat raw meat as comfortably as a Kenyan can eat fried chapatti. They say it helps in digesting it and that drinking without having eaten the meat can kill you quick, since, finding no raw meat - it will definitely settle for your raw stomach. I have seen people drink it when even hungry. They drop down after some shots. But they aren't dead, they wake up eventually. Just like Tej, Araqe also has its own serving. Small whiskey glasses for single and double shots. They don't use those big multipurpose cups we use in Kenya. Now, being in the family of whiskey, it is distilled from other local drinks available in the area, especially Tala. This Araqe is crystal clear depending on the quality of the distillation process. It has no standard alcoholic content as it is home-brewed. Some say it can go to 80% volume!
Tala is made like Busaa. Corn is used in its preparation. They roast the milled corn on a wide almost flat pan, while adding small amounts of water to it. Then they ferment that and Tala is born. It is usually greenish brown. This one is served in half litre cans that originally contained tomato paste, brand named Merti. And as if all Tala Betoch held a meeting to use those yellow cans, you will find the same yellow cans in every Tala Bet. Alcohol content is like a normal beer, around 4%.
That's Ethiopia for you.
It is a known fact that Ethiopia has the highest population of cattle in Africa, and the 10th in the world. What people don't seem to know is that it has the highest population of beautiful girls per square kilometre in the world, as compared to India and the Philippines. You can even throw in South Korea if you like. I am still confused on which should make me the happiest, " for better, for worse; till death do us part..." Another fact that has never been observed is that Ethiopia has the highest population of DOGS in the world, when you put her size into consideration. I have seen more dogs in one street on a normal day (yes, it wasn't a canid holiday) than all the dogs in the Rift Valley Counties of Kenya. Below are some amazing facts:
1. The Dogs of Nazareth
Nazareth is a city about 100km from the capital, as you head towards Shashamane and to Kenya. It's a beautiful city, almost entirely surrounded by hills, and is low-lying and therefore hot, being on the Rift Valley floor. It has wide beautiful streets, some entirely cobblestoned reminding you of the ancient civilizations. The first time I saw cobblestones I immediately consulted Google Maps for my location. And it has traffic lights too, but these don't usually work unless the city is about to host a major event. Too bad because it is a busy city, being on the road to Djibouti, whose port is also used by Ethiopia.
To the main point now. The dogs. If ever a city had so many dogs, and those particular dogs be homeless, and fat, and healthy, and of all breeds in the world, Nazareth is that city. There isn't a breed I haven't seen in Nazareth except the bulldog. And most of these dogs have no owners meaning they rule the city streets. They sleep right in the middle and wouldn't move even if the Prime Minister was passing. You will see beautiful homeless poodles that might tempt you to break a commandment: the one about stealing! The dogs are so healthy and have a constant supply of meat. Of meat?! You must be wondering. Like I said in the opening paragraphs, Ethiopia has a lot of cattle, but these have owners. The local Ethiopian population therefore does not eat meat from the head, the lower leg, I think it's called the shin, and the innards. The only innards they eat are the liver and the stomach. The stomach is not even considered edible to some. All that they don't eat, consequently, ends up in dumps and there the city dogs reign. It amazed me when I first arrived there and saw a dog hauling a full head of a cow - it might have been a bull - together with its tongue and skin! I thought it had commandeered it. In Kenya the only part of the cow I don't remember eating was the gallbladder, the lung, and the bone, and the bone must be broken so as not to miss the elusive marrow. After breaking, the bone is boiled for so long a dog can't tell if meat ever clung on it. It must smell like it's a century old to a dog. The reason for boiling is not to make glue but to make what Kenyans call "soup, supu, thufu, and surwa" in English, Swahili, Kikuyu and Sheng respectively. Personally I have eaten eyes, brains, the nose, and even the skin on its head. Kenyans have a great recipe for a cow head, and not only cows but also goats, sheep, chickens, name it. The intestines are then washed and stuffed with a mixture of peppered meat, liver, and blood to make Kenyas indigenous sausage called "mutura" or "African sausage" or "Dubai sausage". The latter is derived from the fact that Kenya imports second hand cars from Dubai and the "sausage" is not so "sausagy" by having blood and pepper in it. O! The blood! Kenyans don't shed the blood of an innocent beefer in vein! We either mix it with fresh milk and honey and drink it like a Maasai Moran, or cook it in the sausages! Dogs in Kenya are the reason they coined the phrase "a dog's life". They really get a hard time.
That explains the health of these dogs of Nazareth. But in the subarbs of the city, dogs have no peace at all. Boys and even grown men comfortably bend over, pick up a stone, and hurl it towards an innocent dog that is minding it's own canine business! It appears Nazarenes have an inherent inclination towards molesting homeless dogs or mbwa koko in Swahili. And there's not a single pound that would hold them, and there's still not one in the country. The only reason Nazarenes don't hurl objects at dogs in the city is simply because there are no rocks to throw, and also so many people. But even though these dogs be harmless, they are most annoying from 2.00 to 3.00 in the morning. It appears they usually meet an hour before 2.00 to decide on what noises they should make that particular night. They continually wail, howl, bark, growl, whimper, cry constantly for that one hour, apparently for no reason. But dog and ghost experts generally agree that that time of night is when ghosts roam about our land and because dogs see ghosts, they try to have conversations with them!
2. The Gurage Dance
I must say that Ethiopian dances are beautiful. There is not a thing I would love more on a weekend than to watch an Ethiopian girl dance "Skista". It magnifies their already present beauty to colossal heights. Skista isn't "obscene"like many other African dances which involve shaking your hindquarters like you have a mind to shake them off. On the contrary, rather, Skista involves movement of the torso and the head with hands akimbo. Mostly it involves shaking your shoulders in a suggestive way and moving your head this way and that. O! How very beautiful! This dance is native to the Amhara people.
But what I want to talk about is the dance of the Gurage people. I don't know if it has a specific name but boy oh boy! It rocks! If you don't have a bicycle, and if you keep wondering which method is best for exercise, just take Gurage dance lessons. You will get into shape in your first lesson! It is so complex and also so beautiful and involves violent movements that I always wonder how they don't sweat after the dance. I always sweat as soon as I start thinking of the dance itself. Rhumba's "violence" is nothing compared to this. I wouldn't give a perfect description if I wanted and what would help anyone understand it better is looking for a video on YouTube. You move your hands back and forth as you make a slight jump accompanied by a little bowing, back and forth and so on. Your feet also move back and forth but not in tune with the rest of yourself. Occasionally you jump a little higher than you did all through the dance. This jump is probably meant to punctuate the dance, or indicate a different style coming. In general, it looks like you have a mind to run but your body is stuck in a singular spot. The Rastas who live here cannot endure that dance, partly because they own the laziest dance on earth that only involves pointing your index finger to the sky and very slight - almost unnoticeable - movement of the upper torso and the head, and also partly because their herb tends to make a body lazier and slower.
3. The: Local Booze
Apart from contemporary booze, Ethiopia also has three major local boozes viz. Tej, Araqe, and Tala. Many Kenyans would not pronounce the words right, leave alone leave the drinks after trying. There are letters in Amharic that don't exist in the Latin alphabet such that the Ts in Tej and Tala are very explosive and the Q in Araqe seems to come from down the larynx. I have tried all three even though I'm a teetotaler. But what amazes me is the honesty of Ethiopian local brewers. Every day I look at Kenyan papers I see dead people who drunk their moonshine that was laced with methanol and so on. In Ethiopia alcohol kills too, but it takes a long long time to completely destroy your liver, depending on your definition for long. And they have Tej Bet, Araqe Bet, and Tala Bet. Bet is Amharic for "house" or "place". Some of these "Betoch", for that is the plural, are even licensed and the price indicated on a notice on the wall complete with a stamp that that is the price approved by the local government.
I will start with Tej since it was the drink of the Imperial Family. It was a royal drink when great Abyssinia stood. It passed through the lips of many royals. Jomo "the Burning Spear" Kenyatta drank it every time he visited his close friend, Emperor Selassie. It is definitely one of the drinks that Queen Sheba took to Solomon as "gifts".
"Yellow", so aptly surnamed, is a sweet yellowish wine made from honey. It is served from "glasses" that remind me of chemistry - you know the one with a round body and a thin neck, I forgot its name. It is never served from a bottle or a cup. This is the standard serving. You hold the neck between the middle and the index finger. Never between any other fingers. This is the standard and accepted and revised way of holding. Being a wine, obviously they ferment yellowish honey and make it. It is sweet. It would be fair to compare it with Kenya's Muratina. Alcoholic content may be around 7%.
Araqe is the mother of all three if you are talking about alcohol levels. This is the chang'aa equivalent. Many people believe you should only take it after eating raw meat, yes Ethiopians eat raw meat as comfortably as a Kenyan can eat fried chapatti. They say it helps in digesting it and that drinking without having eaten the meat can kill you quick, since, finding no raw meat - it will definitely settle for your raw stomach. I have seen people drink it when even hungry. They drop down after some shots. But they aren't dead, they wake up eventually. Just like Tej, Araqe also has its own serving. Small whiskey glasses for single and double shots. They don't use those big multipurpose cups we use in Kenya. Now, being in the family of whiskey, it is distilled from other local drinks available in the area, especially Tala. This Araqe is crystal clear depending on the quality of the distillation process. It has no standard alcoholic content as it is home-brewed. Some say it can go to 80% volume!
Tala is made like Busaa. Corn is used in its preparation. They roast the milled corn on a wide almost flat pan, while adding small amounts of water to it. Then they ferment that and Tala is born. It is usually greenish brown. This one is served in half litre cans that originally contained tomato paste, brand named Merti. And as if all Tala Betoch held a meeting to use those yellow cans, you will find the same yellow cans in every Tala Bet. Alcohol content is like a normal beer, around 4%.
That's Ethiopia for you.
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