Your Majesty, Queen May

I know what you're thinking –

May these thoughts forever remain.

You know what I'm feeling –

And let us from deviating refrain.

My Love, My Lady, Your Majesty

The queen of that kingdom in my heart,

Your love I will never look at with jest

And my pauper hands you they'll never hurt.

Your subject I will forever remain

Your sweet being I will forever adore.

Serve you forever no matter the pain,

But I won't, on your orders, hit the door!

Your majesty, Queen May - allow me, if I may

Remind you of how long a wait it is.

Be that as it may, I'll have you every day

In my thoughts and in my dreams.

Do Africans Keep Pets?

They say that Africans have no pets

'An uncivilised lot, they are, the Africans –

Pets are adorable!'

But I beg to raise

The question about pets.

Africans really do have them

And they know how to treat them best.

Think of lice, fleas, jiggers – good ol' jiggers

They've been with us since …

Since time immemorial.

The White Man – he came, he went

But jiggers and kin in Africa he still left.

How would anyone with a sane mind

Assert that Africans have no animals of the kind?

Every kid in Africa has had two or three,

And they never will let them free.

Ask Kenyans, Ugandans, Ethiopians –

We've all had our share and care

Of these adorable pests!

Mereiye

Don't know where I am headed yet. Will definitely keep you updated. Will keep u on my mind, 4eva. Do tha same, please.

Kenya issues travel advisories against UK, US

In what many may call a daring diplomatic move, Nairobi has warned its citizens against travel to the West, most particularly the UK, excluding Scotland, and the United States. Germany too was not left out when the newly elect tough-sounding president said he could not allow [Kenyan] citizens to experience what happened in the Munich Olympics. In an unprecedented move he referred to Kenyan citizens as modern day Jews, who everyone was wishing evil – but which he warned was not going to happen. Kenya has disappointed many a Western countries after violence failed to break out after the 2013 elections.

This move leaves many wondering just how they are going to work with the president-elect, who has been indicted for crimes against humanity in the Hague. When asked by the press what led to his decision to issue the advisories against the US, which is currently run by a fellow Kenyan, he cited the fall of the Twin towers and the pentagon, claiming that shows that the country (US) is not able to protect itself against terrorists and therefore left Kenyan citizens in danger. Answering the question on the UK, he said that it was forbidden for Kenyans to eat horse meat and as such they were not only advised not to visit the UK but will also be fined if investigations show that they travelled to that country some time after the warning. The stoned president-elect also cautioned high-profile Kenyans against visiting the UK seeing what happened to “our beautiful adored Princess Diana”. Apparently, he had the hots for her. He also claimed that the UK was not a safe place for Kenyan citizens due to the fact that Harry Potter was killed in cold blood and the Dark Lord will still rise.

It will be, or rather has already begun, a big turn of events, as the president-elect's eyes are aimed to the East. “As the sun rises in the East, so shall we look upon China to solve our problems.” China has already invested massively in Africa, and in Kenya in particular – building a world class highway called Thika Road. This is much unlike what Africa has been receiving from the West – nothing but conferences and money given to corrupt government officials who later spend it in vacations in the same countries. It should be noted that China does not give Africans money to build anything but comes and builds itself.

Additional reporting by Kimani wa Mumbi

Xinhua African correspondent

Nairobi

Midnight Call and a Death Threat

On 23-01-13 at 0023, GMT+3

In Adama aka Nazret, Ethiopia

It was just midnight when I got this call

Said that I had three more days to live

Why? I asked

What you do, he answered.

Thought my drinking habit

Had finally taken its toll.

But how did this caller know?

Surely he sounded not like Angel Michael

And he didn't sound like Lucifer either.

I don't understand, I said.

Who you call every day, he said.

I tried to figure in my wino mind

Who it is a man would give

So much love as to give daily calls.

Mind too busy. Try again later.

Who do I call? I asked.

You know who you call, he said.

I don't understand, I said.

Ask your friends, goodbye. BEEP!

“Death threats given by clowns, I guess . . .”

My favourite music track by Nas thus goes.

I fall back deeeeeep into slumber

Daytime I'll deal with this number.