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Monday 28 May 2012

My Ethiopia


They call it 'the land of the thousand smiles' or in case you speak a little of that thing spoken by Sarkozy, 'le pays des mille sourires'; it is home of the Ark of the Covenant, the Biblical one believed to have been brought here from Jerusalem by Emperor Menelik I, son of Queen Sheba and King Solomon. So here you will find actual descendants of wise King Solomon and Queen Sheba of the Bible, etc., etc. O! Not to forget the great Haille GebreSellasie, the one who gives Kenyan runners a pure headache. Ethiopia is revered by the Rastafarians, it is their Zion.

Ethiopia borders Kenya to the south, Eritrea to the north-east, Somalia to the east, the two Sudans to the West. It has a great topography, if I remember my geography right; and a great people. If you are a tourist looking for a place to get away, my Ethiopia is the place, that is after you have visited the world-known Maasai Mara, where you see the world as it was in the very beginning, animals roaming everywhere and the 'eighth wonder of the world' – the wildebeest migrating in millions. Once you are here in ET, you will need to visit places like Bahar Dar, Gondar, Axum, Yeha, Harar, among others.

Wondering why a Kenyan would be writing all this? Look. I came here exactly six months ago and I have seen a lot. But the aim of my writing is to be a little critical. You want to try this, I'm sure.

If you are an African, or have African origin, come here and ask around. People here do not believe they are African, not that they hate Africa, but for strange reasons which they cannot explain. Wherever I go and speak English, for Amharic here is spoken by about everybody, English by less than 20 percent, well, wherever I go they always ask me whether I'm Ethiopian, for they say that I look like them. If I say that I am not Ethiopian they always proceed to ask me whether I am African to which I always say “Yes”. But whenever I ask them whether they are African they say “No, we are Ethiopian”. May be their geography teachers do not do enough trying to let these people know that they are actually African in the sense that they are living in Ethiopia, which is not located somewhere in Mars but in Africa! Another question that they might ask if not the first is whether I am Jamaican! I do not think Jamaicans have a peculiarity, if not for the ganja they love, but it is understood that they love Ethiopia so much, some of them actually settle here, especially the Rastas, in a place called Shashamane. And this started a long time ago when Rastafari Mekonnen was still emperor, google that and find out for yourself.

Another peculiarity of Ethiopians is how they have failed to appreciate the hanky, and all its relatives like tissue. God! People here blow their noses right inside a building, or right in front of you. This is especially bad when it is windy because they do not care whether you are downwind or upwind, they will blow all right, and expect that you forgive them or excuse them depending on how serious the flu is. That is one thing I have never come to grips with. You will see a very beautiful lady blow her nose right into the palm of her hand, and then proceed to greet you. I say, the beauty disappears when you see this barbarian act. Ladies have a way of concealing that blowing – they do not do it in the wind but in the palm of their hands. It happened to me one day. I went to the baker's to buy some bread and the woman there blew her nose noiselessly on her palm. Bread here is never wrapped and they have a habit of handling it with their bare hands. So right after she blew her nose she went ahead to handle it. I showed a disgusted face and went on home to give that bread to the landlady's dog.

Another thing, if you think that you are naturally a comedian and you would say a few God and Jesus jokes, even church jokes, do not set foot here. You will be hanged, mark that, hanged, the second day. Religion here is a thing they hold dear, and they have a right to, seeing that they have the relationship to that wise king and the Ark, not to mention that the country is mentioned severally in the Bible. So if you would like to crack a few of those jokes, just go south to Kenya. People there will give you an ear and they are going to be shedding tears laughing.

Another thing about Ethiopians is how they board taxis, as they call these minivans. They never want to sit at the extreme corner or seat, no matter where they are going. You might break a bone trying to squeeze past three grown man who will not move to that extreme seat for reasons known only to them. And if they happen to sit at the window, they do not want it open, even under the sweltering heat of the country.

O! I almost forgot: if you come to Ethiopia, be sure to taste their coffee, known as buna locally. They usually have a unique ceremony where they sit around a person who is making coffee and talk and drink when it is ready. They drink this coffee for many hours and that is what makes it a ceremony. It tastes good but what bothers me about it is the fact that they do not usually buy processed coffee, even for two cups of coffee. They prefer to buy the coffee beans and roast them for almost an hour, after which they crush them and later on make you some coffee. If you are the type that has no patience, do not ever follow somebody who invites you to a cup of coffee at home, it will take more time than it takes to roast a goat! I like my Nescafé. It takes less than a minute to make! If you wanted to venture to the coffee processing industry, Ethiopia is not your place. They produce a lot of coffee but they would rather it was not processed for them.

I do not mean to be mean on the Ethiopian way of life. I was just pinpointing the various differences as they occurred to me. You might go to any country and you will no doubt get things like this to write about.

That is my Ethiopia for you!

Saturday 5 May 2012


The following is an actual question given in a courseunit called professional ethics that I did back then.

This was a very difficult question I had from one of the course units I did at college. I decided to tackle it with a sense of humour. I might sound a little prejudiced at some places but please read and digest before you judge me. I did not score highly in it but I did not fail. I always thought that everybody appreciated my sense of humour. Was wrong.

QUESTION:
Explain at least six ethical dilemmas you faced during School Practice.

School Practice is an activity involving new teachers going to their field, in this case education, to literally practise what they have learnt. These ‘new’ teachers are usually straight from colleges of education or at the university doing a course in education. They usually get schools from which to practise their teaching skills and when the time to report comes they start their practise just like any teacher would in that school. It is like a practical in chemistry in the laboratory where this time you do not deal with beakers and titration tubes but with the school as a whole: the teachers, the students, and the non-teaching staff. It is not an easy thing and especially not if it is your first time. You come across obstacles sometimes. Some of these are what we call ethical dilemmas. Well, it was my first time and I faced some of those ethical dilemmas. In real life, a dilemma is a situation where you do not know what to choose, or you are in a situation where you are forced to choose between two things, or factors, both of which are unpleasant. An ethical dilemma is when you are in a controversy to choose between what is right and what is wrong. But there are usually times when people have different views of what is wrong and what is right. In such a case, you find yourself in an ethical or moral confusion, called a dilemma.

During my School Practice, I faced a few dilemmas and the first one was that the proprietor of the school I went to was white, as in not African. The problem was not the colour of her skin, or her husband’s, because they were always around the school but that white people usually have a feeling towards Africans that makes me dislike them. The proprietor, to be named ‘She’ hereafter, would exhibit some of these feelings in many ways. For instance, you could not tell a teacher from a student if it was not for the uniform. Teachers in that school were treated how Senior Six students in another school would not. There was a time, and there were several of such times, when She came and found that the teachers were having a nap: this was common after being fed on posho, the same as the students which is not really the problem but being the nature of posho to make you sleepy in the afternoon. She, being an old woman, took her walking stick and hit the table so hard as to wake the dead. She then went ahead to say that she did not pay anyone to sleep. Of course I was not asleep personally but I was confused. Should I have told the old lady to treat us with dignity or should I have kept quiet like everyone else? They say two wrongs do not make it right, and that even if a thousand people believe in a thing it does not make what they believe in right. So, even if all teachers saw no wrong in what she did, I was confused because according to the teaching profession that was as wrong a crime as it gets. What accentuated the matter was that the school was not all made of bricks, but being church-based, it made use of the Church to accommodate two classes partitioned by movable blocks of wood, and the staffroom was in the pulpit, also partitioned in the same manner. This made sure that the students in Senior Two, which was bordering the staffroom, and those of Senior One further away could not only hear but they could see through the partitions, that is if they cared to look. That was among the ethical dilemmas I faced.
Secondly, the ego of the proprietor – owing to the colour of her skin no doubt – made her act in ways that were way too rude. This might also have happened should She have been black for teachers are known to go through anything to get that meagre salary they get. So in this school meat, a rare delicacy, was served on Mondays and Fridays. That almost made sure that every teacher was present at lunch, even those who did not attend some other days of the week – that is those who were part-time. As a result meat was never enough for all teachers and it is said that even in the best of groups, there must be somebody who is always messing up everyone. So one of these reported to her and She never took her time; instead, She – being quite computer literate – wrote a notice and with all her guts She did not send anyone to pin it to the staffroom notice board. She brought it herself. The poster had a picture of a cow, I guess She could not get one that expressed her note better, and below the cow read, in bold and capitalised: DON’T BE A PIG, DON’T TAKE MORE THAN TWO PIECES OF MEAT. In all my life, no one had ever called me a pig, and here I was, practising to be a teacher and somebody, white, was actually calling me a pig. I bet She could have called me a monkey had She been allowed. That note, as innocent as it looked, and as good-looking as it was, being coloured (not in black and white) with the picture of a cow, was so very racist to those who understood it. I did not know whether to talk to my colleagues about calling a meeting. The only problem was that among that group there were some teachers who did not mind what you called them or thought of them as long as you payed them. That really was a dilemma. According to me, She should have called a meeting to handle such a matter, because there was indeed a good number that ate more meat than everyone else.
The other problem I faced was that I taught English and Literature and as such, I had almost more lessons than many other teachers, being the nature of the timetable in all good schools: English and Literature should have as many hours in a week as possible. By this, I was almost always in class, in Senior Two, just next to the staffroom. The lady lived just behind the staffroom in a very big house with a gate on it so she had enough privacy. The only problem is that when I was teaching she would pass through the classroom, being partitioned by blocks of wood only on those sides that bordered the staffroom and Senior One. What was even worse was that she did not only pass through the classroom but she also spoke to her students, the school being those that value their students more than anybody else. So there I would be literally shouting about what verbs are and why they should never be confused with nouns. I say ‘shouting’ because the nature of the classrooms asked this of you. If you did not, the teacher in Senior One would be teaching both classes. So our dear old lady would come to class and without excusing herself she would start talking. It took me time to know and respect this peculiar disposition of hers. Still, this was wrong. How could I tell her, or the headteacher? It was impossible yet it was just an interruption of the smooth flow of the lessons. I was confused, but of course She had her way.
The other problem I faced was of a personal nature. Being created by God and he having endowed us with certain unalienable rights including life, and also size, I am what you would call small. In fact, the first time you see me you must notice that I am small, if you care to look critically. So, one day I was just entering the school and at the gate I met our dear old lady. Owing to her poor sight, no doubt due to old age, she spotted me. I was not in uniform and so I was not to be confused with a student. Whether she was trying to be funny or not, I cannot tell, but if that was her idea of a joke, she needed to read a how-to book on how to crack them. So she asked, in a voice loud enough to address a school parade, “Are you a student or a teacher?” I was kind of puzzled for not only had I not seen her but I also did not expect her to talk to me from such a distance, being not in uniform and supposedly having some privileges. I might have been an official from the Ministry! When I came back to my mind, because that had really taken me out of it, I smiled at her and said, in a tone showing a lot of confidence, “A teacher, of course” to which she replied, “You are too young to be a teacher” to which I also replied, “Yeah, I am twenty-one”, smiled and moved on. There were of course, many students who might have overheard this conversation and this was just wrong. How was I supposed to tell this lady to show me, and many of the other teachers who were treated likewise, some respect? When somebody is not in uniform, how do you go ahead and ask him a question like she did? I guessed it was wrong to confront her. Her husband did the same one Wednesday afternoon. The students were preparing to go out for what is curiously named ‘Intervention’ and so I was just in class as some were leaving. I was talking to one of the Senior Twos and he came straight to me and asked me where my uniform was, right in front of my students. I was so humiliated and I must have gone red in the face with rage. What a dilemma this was! I touched him on his shoulders, for he was a more sociable man than his wife, and took him outside and explained to him that big things come in small packages, to which he laughed and became my friend henceforth. Notwithstanding, I was still puzzled on how to make sure I was never again mistaken for a student. My problem was I could not walk around like other teachers who walked with all the airs of teaching experience around them.
In my Senior Two class, there were girls who a priest himself would not fail to give a second look, no matter how many years he might have spent in the seminary. The problem with these girls was not that they were beautiful, but that they had realised it too. They took advantage of this and made teaching a profession demanding a lot of endurance from the teachers, more so the male teachers. The dilemma I faced during my lessons was to keep my eyes off them and this was not an easy thing, especially I who had just joined the field. Their eyes were, of course, always on the teacher. No matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes off these beautiful girls, who by the way occupied all the front desks, I always found myself wondering at their beauty, and I think everyone noticed. The boys, especially the naughty ones who, by way of their “trade” always sit behind – noticed and started showing no interest in my lessons. I had a hard time as it was not a weakness of mine but of man to notice. This was among the most difficult things I had to overcome.
Finally, I had this problem of some students who, from the countries they came from, could not speak any word in English. The school, being private, admitted them as the proprietor wished, which was not really a problem but I feel there should have been different lessons for such students. In teaching a language, it has been proven that if the learner of a second language is taken and settled among those who speak it then that leaner will have better chances of grasping the language faster, a process called immersion. I had an Indian girl, young and beautiful, but who could not say as much in English as a kindergarten child could. I, as the teacher of English, had an obligation to teach her English. This could not be possible as what she needed was elementary English which I could not teach while teaching the rest of the Senior Twos. I had practically nothing to do since the residing teacher himself had done nothing, may be due to lack of pay for any extra lessons, and so I let her move along with the others. When the time for exams came, I got wind that what they did was to let her copy from the others. This came as a shock to me. What was she learning then, and how did she get to Senior Two? I felt it was very wrong because her reports would indicate that she was doing well yet in reality she was not learning anything. But I also remembered a proverb about doing in Rome what the Romans do. So I let her, against my wishes.